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'I'm so lucky': Stay-at-home dad shares his experience caring for his family

The father has a 4-year-old son and a 9-month-old daughter. He's nearly at his five year mark as a stay-at-home family caretaker.
A New York state stay-at-home dad shares his experience staying with his family each day to care for them
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As families look for new ways to budget and as prices continue to rise in the United States, more mothers appear to be leaving the workforce to save on childcare costs, Scripps News Buffalo reported.

And more fathers appear to be joining in on helping to care for their families at home as well.

According to Pew Research Center, between 1989 and 2021, the number of mothers not employed for pay decreased slightly, from 28% to 26%.

A rise in stay-at-home moms, Orchard Park mom shares fruitful experience

Over that same time period, the number of fathers not working increased from 4% to 7%. Fathers now represent 18% of stay-at-home parents, up from 11% in 1989.

Antonio Lamar has a 4-year-old son and a 9-month-old daughter. He's going on almost five years as a stay-at-home dad.

"It was a little challenging at first, dealing with the aspect of it," Lamar shared. "I'm supposed to be providing for my family, working and that type of thing. Eventually, I settled right in. It's one of the best jobs I have had."

He was laid off in January 2020, just weeks before his son Desmond was born.

"We were blessed enough that my wife makes enough money so that one of us could be home," Lamar added.

Another deciding factor is the cost of childcare, which has dramatically increased due to inflation.

"They run anywhere from $200 to $400 a week sometimes for decent day cares, so that's a good bit of your check going to daycare," Lamar explained.

Going from managing a stone warehouse to being a full-time stay-at-home dad has had its challenges, he said.

"Trying to keep them busy and make sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing as a dad," Lamar said. "Am I doing a good job? Am I doing the right thing? Am I making sure their days are filled with things that are making them grow as the little people they are becoming?"

Lamar said he's grateful he hasn't missed a single milestone in his children's lives.

"I'm so lucky to be able to see all their little milestones," he shared. "Her talking. Her saying 'Da-Da'. It's awesome. That's been the coolest so far."

There is one thing Lamar hopes to find more of.

"It's tough sometimes to find little groups to hang out with the kids because you're a dad. You hang out at the park sometimes but it's hard to find little groups. All the stay-at-home dads out there, keep your head up. You'll be alright," he said.

Lamar plans to return to the workforce once the kids are in school.

This story was originally published by Pheben Kassahun at Scripps News Buffalo.